is getting something on sale. I now realize that being thirfty is nifty (kind of has a nice ring, don’t you think?).  Over the Easter weekend, my sister Kandeyce flew out from the west coast to visit. People mistake us for twins, and we do seem to gravitate towards the same clothes, jewelry, makeup, hair styles, and art (but, thankfully, not men!) All kidding aside, she asked several times  “Where did you get that bag?” “Where did you get that dress?” and then the biggy “How the heck does one date out in the middle of the boonies?”  Understand that my sister, who  has a few more coins in her purse than I do, prefers small boutique designer shopping. I, however, have my favorite one-stop shop. A little place called Target or targeet, if you happen to be feeling carefree and capricious. Je t’adore Targeet….I get a mood lift just walking in the door. Check out this little white pleather jacket…what da ya think?

So….what’s a single working mom to do, besides trying to win the multi-tasking award of the year? I figure I have time on my hands (yeah, right! ). Wait a minute….let’s see….I run a full-time photography studio and am single-handedly raising my 8-year-old son, and this isn’t enough on my plate? I do take time for family and friends, though. Most are married, but a few are single.  My girlfriend Patty (a knock-out Sofia Loreen type) has the worst man issues. For some reason, she comes to me for advice. Check out this little gem. She tells me the other day that her ex boyfriend suggested becoming “friends with benefits.” Can you believe it? That is SO 1988. (Maybe he was planning to leave his power suit draped over her boudoir chair while he boffed away?) After calming my initial revulsion, I thought about her ex-beau’s suggestion, and asked Patty if she considered that they were friends. She shyly answered, “Well…no. Come to think of it, we are not really good friends.”

( This is my “image” on the left of being really good friends.)

Then I asked her “So, what is the benefit part?” (this is my “image” on the right of what a benefit should look like). Patty sighed, “Well, sadly, he doesn’t have THAT going on, either.”

“Oh…..I get it, so there is absolutely nothing in it for you then, is there?” I pointed out. Patty looked relieved. “Well, doggone it….I guess we just figured that one out!”

My advice to Patty…and to all single girls of all ages out there…is to stand firm and really think about it (I call this “digest time”) before you take the plunge into anything, really. I recommend this to many of the younger girls I coach, especially the ones moving to a huge city or starting a high-paced modeling or acting career ….where temptation is everywhere. Did I tell you that I’m offering consults on breaking into the acting and modeling business? By the hour, in person or via Skype.

Ok, back to you. Taking the time to reflect on your life, to cultivate and remain true to your personal values, to process your emotions, and to learn to trust your intuition, is super essential. Think of it as cultivating the garden of YOU. Your attitude and the choices you make today will shape your future and also determine your relationships. Make sure those choices…and those relationships…are healthy and have earned their rightful place in your sacred garden. Get rid of the toxic weeds. That’s my “KJ” relationship and style advice for the day!

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